Does she like you? The Butt Index

This has been a working theory of mine for a while, so, while not all of the "but"'s have been worked out (pardon the pun), it's pretty close to accurate.

I've always been bad at reading signals from women. I just suck at it. Thinking she's into me when she wants to be friends, thinking she's flirting when she's "like that with everyone"...if you've been there, then you know what I'm talking about.

And face it, we've ALL been there.

But I think I cracked a code.

I've figured out that how a woman hugs you good night, will tell you everything you need to know about her interest.

Hugs...not just for copping a cheap feel anymore!

You ready?

You’re gonna die when I tell you how obvious it is…

Butt placement.

Where a woman puts her pelvic area when she hugs you good night, will tell you almost everything you need to know.

For a long time, I thought women hugged me the way they did because of how big I was. I figured they were trying to give me “belly room.” But once I started to drop weight and “belly room” became less of a factor, I realized that certain women hugged me funny.

Why were some women were sticking their butts out when hugging me?

I have this friend, L, who I’ve always flirted with and she back. I SWORE that there was something there, but I always got the “friends” response. Then one night, I was at her place for a party. We had been flirting heavy all night. She even made the comment “You’re going to be making me breakfast in the morning.” So, natch, I stuck around til the end of the night.

I’m the last person there, and I’m trying to be smooth but not getting any kind of response out of her. She stands up and says “I hate to do this, but I gotta get up in the morning, so…” and taking the not-so-subtle hint, I stood up and said goodnight. She leaned in for a hug…and her butt was sticking way out when she did it.

I felt a little pissed and led-on as I left. But on the drive home, I kept thinking back to the hug. It felt so odd.

Picture this: Her shoulders and top of chest are up against mine, her butt is sticking way out. If I were to have looked down, there was probably 18 inches of space between the tips of her toes and mine. Meaning her back was probably angled out at 20-30 degrees.

I went to bed that night thinking that there was something to the way she hugged me.

Fast-Forward a couple years…I’ve been hugged many many many times since then and slowly pieced together a theory.

I’m out for cocktails with a few friends from work. One male co-worker really digs another female co-worker. Everyone at the table knew he was into her (including her). Those two talked almost exclusively the entire night (a fact I jokingly brought up to one of the females in attendance). The girl got up to say good night to everyone, he stood up too. She leaned over to him and hugged him goodnight. It was a long hug. Long enough for me to say to the female I joked with earlier “Oh, he’s the Mayor of Friendsville and doesn’t realize it.”

Joking girl said “What do you mean?”

“How far out a girl’s butt sticks when she hugs you good night, is in direct proportion to how she feels about you.”

Joking girl took a long pause, then said “How did you find out about that?”

I looked at her with a smile and said “I figured out a secret, didn’t I?”

She hesitantly nodded.

So now, let’s break it down…

First off, women are very smart and can pick up on whether you’re into them or not. If you’re not into them, but they want you to be, they will pull a couple of sly moves.

They will pull you directly into their chest. They want you to feel how their breasts feel against you. They’ll also position their arms in such a way that you have no choice to put your hands at the small of their back (subsequently pulling their pelvic area into yours). Their body language is screaming “Hey dummy, this would be better if neither of us were wearing clothes.”

But women typically are the ones who are chased and never need to pull something like that. So then, let’s deal with the women who you are into.

When going in for the good night hug, if her pelvic area is angled out 20-30 degrees away from you with the top part of her chest and shoulders against yours, she likes you as a friend. Her body language says “You can be close to my heart in friendship, but you won’t come close to my goodies.”

If her pelvic area is between 5-20 degrees away from you, she still sees you as a friend, but there could be more. Her body language says “I feel like I can be close to you and trust you…but you’ve still got a ways to go.”

This can also be the girl who you will invite over to your place after a night of partying, who will sleep in your bed, but “just want to cuddle.” She will use your attraction to her for her own gain. She will typically read you as a “gentleman” or “doormat”.

If her pelvic area is up against yours, with no separation, she sees you as a potential mate. She also trusts you deeply. Her body language says “Look how close I’m willing to be with you.”

There is one caveat with this last index. If you’re in this situation, you may not be all the way home. There’s another index that only comes into play when there is no pelvic separation. I call it the “Small talk index”. You’ve been here before. Very close hug, lingers a little longer than normal…you think she’s just as into you and you are her. But like I said, women are smart. They know you’re thinking that. So, they normally will lean back to make a little small talk before coming back in for a follow-up hug.

The “Small talk index” also has a distance measurement. Her hips might stay right up against yours, but when she leans back, if her arms (while her hands are still at your shoulders or arms) come out to full extension, you’re still in “Friendsvlle.” She just feels really close to you, but her arms push her far enough away that if you were to go in for a kiss, she’s got time to react. She’s also put herself into a position, that were you to try to kiss her, it would be difficult and awkward for you.

If her arms stay bent, and she’s within a 8-12 inches of your face, she wants a lot more than she’s actually willing to say.

If she’s within 2-7 inches…for god’s sake, kiss her, you pansy! She came in 90%, you have to go in for the last 10%.

See how obvious it all is? But yet, we almost never figure it out because of how stealthy women can be.

Women will ALWAYS give you the right signs, but it’s up to you to interpret them correctly.

Now, there are other factors that I’m still working on:

“Chair hugs” – you’re sitting in a chair while she hugs you

“Sidewinder hugs” – hugs that came at you from the side or an awkward angle

And a few more.

But this should get you started on identifying the right good night hugs from the ones that will drive you crazy.

B