A Matter of Time

Ok ok ok...I know it's been a while since I've updated. I'm moving.

Or at least I'm in the process of it.

And I know I said I would comment on all the stuff in my last post...and I will. Later.

But first, I gotta tell you about the funniest thing that I saw this weekend.

My good friends B & S invited me out to a party that their neighbor was throwing on Saturday. There would be Crabs and Beer and Good Times. So after painting the new place all day, I cleaned up and drove up there.

Am I the only one who thinks it's weird to be invited to someone's house, that you don't know, ring the doorbell, and when they answer you say "HI! I'm B's friend, B. I'm here for your food and beer!" Uncomfortable to say the least...but luckily I caught S on her way over, so I walked with her.

After the introductions, I ate me some crabs...only two...there's only so much cutting and scraping and shucking I can handle (YUCK!).

I drank me a couple beers. Then...

The guys started breaking out the amps and guitars and tamborines and bongos and started playing old Southern Rock and oldies tunes. Sweet Home Alabama...Freebird...all that crap. Even some Beatles in there.

Then things started to get weird. The guys got drunker and they would yell at each other. Playing the wrong notes...Singing off-key (they were ALL off-key)...Not knowing the words...Tossing beer bottles into the woods...More yelling...

Seen this movie before?

Yeah ya have.

Sling Blade. Mmmmm hmmmm.

At about that time, B & S wave me to go inside with them. I thought they were saving me from the madness. No. The wife of the owner of the house took us to the garage. While all the kids are sitting in the living room watching a Bratz movie (oh yeah...there were kids there), we "fired up."

I took a small half-assed hit because I had to drive and I don't like driving after doing that. I end up feeling like I'm in the video game Pole Position. Just tryin to stay between the white lines and not drive into any billboards.

So, a punk-ass hit to make everyone happy...It had very little effect. B & S though...they took a few healthy hits.

It's funny to see people you like and respect "fire up." I knew they did it, but I'd never seen them do it. And that changes the perspective.

So B & S and their friends are also big on Tequila. To the point they buy really GOOD expensive Tequila. When's there's a party, peeps end up doing shots. I try to stay away from it, because if you're not careful, it's a real quick way to end your fun times. But B & S brought over their good bottle of Tequila. Some fancy pants $40 a bottle clear Tequila.

Me and B are in the living room discussing our jobs (him high, me not), when S walks over with a shot glass and hands it to him. He declines, he's already not feeling great from the 4 margaritas and 12 or so crabs and the green. S says "No...c'mon...one shot...You'll love it...Trust me." The last part she said with a cock-eyed look. B notices this too so he downs the shot. He scrawls his face up, looks at me, then to his wife and says...

"What the fuck!?! This is watered down!"

Yup. One of their kids (Boy 17, Girl 19) has been drinking the Tequila...and then watering it down thinking they won't notice.

Seriously, I think I peed a little bit from laughing so hard.

I mean, do kids really still do that? I thought the'd be all "F YOU! Yeah I drank it! What are you gonna do about it!?!" Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe today's kids ARE as stupid as they used to be. Just with worse haircuts and more piercings.

Anyway, here's B & S...trying to have a serious conversation with each other about which of their kids drank the Tequila and then thought that they would be so stupid as to not notice the watered down-ness...And they're having this serious convo -- STONED!

OMG...pure. comedy. gold.

Of course, they eventually looked at me and said "Hey, don't laugh...you're a parent too."

Touche'.

More on everything else later.

B